Yesterday my 15-year-old (pictured above right with me on the left) handed me a handwritten note (photo below). It’s part of a little family ritual we do sometimes when we say goodbye: we leave the person with three things.

Her three for me?

1. Talk to 3 random people each week I wouldn’t normally speak to.

2. Sunrise swim / walk / surf a few times a week.

3. Practice handstands for 10 minutes.

She also wrote that she’s grateful for all the times I “strongly encouraged” hiking, surfing, or “some other thing.”
“You were right ...we did enjoy it in the end.”

Here’s what that cracked open for me:

• Rituals anchor us. They make connection predictable, even in messy seasons. Like saying goodbye because she's going to see her dad.

• Boundaries matter (no forcing, no shaming)… and sometimes love looks like a gentle nudge toward the hard thing.

• We lead by example. Choosing the surf over the scroll. The hike over the ice cream. The handstand over the “maybe tomorrow.”

Maybe you start your own version of the Three Things ritual. It doesn’t have to be challenges. It could be:

• gratitudes • dares • questions for the week • comforts • tiny joys to notice • ways to be kind (to self or others)

I’m leaving you with three, if you want them (okay, slightly plagiarised, not feeling so creative in this moment :P):

1. Say hello to one stranger this week.

2. Catch one sunrise (feet in water if you can).

3. Go upside down for 60 seconds (handstand at the wall or legs-up-the-wall).

And if you want more rituals like this woven into everyday life, that’s exactly what we practise inside our mentoring and retreats.

With love (and slightly shaky handstands),

Daniela

The Gather Project

Journaling/Reflection Prompts

self + aliveness

1. where am i choosing comfort over aliveness right now? what’s the real cost?
2. what’s one small, slightly uncomfortable action that would make me proud tonight?
3. when i picture “the mum i want to be,” what is she doing on an average tuesday?

Boundaries + gentle nudges

4. how do i know the difference between honouring my child’s boundary and avoiding a necessary stretch?
5. what does a gentle nudge look/sound like in our family (scripts, tone, timing)?
6. where have i “strongly encouraged” in the past—and it paid off? what worked about that moment?

Rituals + connection

7. what three things feel right for our family ritual this week (gratitudes, dares, questions, comforts, joys)?
8. what time/place will anchor this ritual so it actually happens? (be specific.)
9. what do i want my kids to remember about how we did goodbyes and hellos?

Courage + modeling

10. what’s my “surf not scroll” this week? name it. schedule it.
11. where can i let them see me try, wobble, laugh, and try again (hello, handstands)?
12. if my teen wrote me a note in a year, what three things do i hope they’d thank me for?

mini practice (optional, 2 mins): hand on heart, one deep breath. whisper: today i choose the small brave thing. write the one action you’ll do in the next 24 hours.